Walking the Lenten Path: Why Sharing Our Faith Was the "Glue" to Surviving Loss

When the three of us first sat down to pen the pages of Surviving the Silence, we found ourselves at a crossroads. We shared a singular, unshakable conviction: that Jesus Christ is the source of all healing and the only way to true salvation. He was the "glue" that held our shattered lives together after our losses.

Yet, we hesitated.

We didn’t want to "scare away" the woman who was currently standing in the wreckage of a miscarriage or stillbirth—the woman whose heart was so bruised she couldn't bear the weight of a sermon. We wanted our "Meet-You-at-the-Front-Door" approach to be just that: a soft, accessible invitation to any mother, regardless of where she stood with God, or any religion for that matter.

But then we realized we couldn't offer you a path to healing without sharing the very thing that saved us.

After a few weeks of writing, our boldness began to take shape, and the truth became unavoidable. To leave out the source of our strength would be like trying to describe a sunrise without mentioning the sun. We knew we had to not only include the section: "Surviving When Your Faith Seems to Be Failing," but also be forthright throughout the book in regard to the source of our joy amidst our grief: Jesus Christ.

The Lenten CONNECTION: A Journey Through Sorrow

As Christians, we celebrate Lent, and as we navigate this season, this conversation feels more poignant than ever. Lent is a season of repentance and a season of reflection. It is the forty days of wandering, of temptation, and of acknowledging the gravity of our broken world. For forty days, our Lord spent in the wilderness fasting and praying to God to lighten the burden of the cross. A cross so very heavy from all of our sins.

For a mother who has lost a child, life can feel like a perpetual Lent. There is the heavy silence of an empty nursery, the "fasting" from the joy you expected to have, and the agonizing question: “Where is God in this?”

If you are asking that question today, look to Jesus’ walk to the cross.

No Greater Love

There is no greater love than the one shown through Christ’s journey to Calvary. He did not watch our suffering from a distance; He stepped into it. On His way to the cross, He carried the weight of every sorrow—including the sorrow of the mother who has to say goodbye before she ever got to say hello.

• He knows the weight of your pain.

• He knows the sting of feeling forsaken.

• He knows the silence of the tomb.

In our book, we talk about how to find your faith when it feels like it’s slipping through your fingers. We don’t offer platitudes or easy answers. Instead, we offer tips on how to sit in the silence with Him, how to pray when you have no words, and how to trust that the "silence" of God is not the "absence" of God.

A Seat at the Front Door

If your faith feels lost or silent right now, please hear us: It’s okay. You don’t have to have a "perfect" faith to be welcomed here. You don’t have to have it all figured out to find healing. Just as Jesus walked toward the cross out of an overflowing love for you, we want to walk toward you with that same heart.

The walk to the cross was agonizing, but it wasn't the end of the story. Neither is your grief. There is light on the other side of the tomb, and there is hope for your weary heart.

Tips for Finding Faith in the Silence:

• Be Honest in Prayer: God can handle your anger, your questions, and your "Why?" Ask Him to help you out of the despair you are feeling.

• Look for Micro-Mercies: In the depths of grief, look for the tiny ways God provides—a kind text, a moment of peace, or the strength to get out of bed.

• Lean on the "Glue": When you can't hold onto God, remember that He is the one holding onto you.

• Gravitate toward Burden Bearers: Find the people who speak life into you. The ones who listen without judgment, point you in the direction of the hope found only in Jesus, and pray for you when you need it most.

The Greatest Hope: Held in the Arms of the Father

The walk to the cross was agonizing, but it wasn't the end of the story. There is light on the other side of the tomb, and there is an eternal hope for your weary heart. We find our peace in the ultimate promise of our faith: just as Jesus joined His Father in heaven, so did your baby.

You can find more on this journey in the 'Surviving When Your Faith Seems to be Failing' section of our book, Surviving the Silence: A Meet-You-at-the-Front-Door Approach to Surviving Stillbirth and Miscarriage. Surviving the Silence: A Meet-You-at-the-Front-Door Approach to Surviving Stillbirth and Miscarriage: Davis, Dr. Laurel, Place, Kelvi, Robson, Janelle: 9798993219905: Amazon.com: Books